Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
