please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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