Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
