Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
