just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
