and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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