Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
