Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
