You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Damn victory sex feels great
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
