You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
