There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
