He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
