And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you told grandpa to call you daddy
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
