Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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