My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
