i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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