1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
