Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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