Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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