Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
