im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
