Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
a search helicopter?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
