You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
