was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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