I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If I had your ass I would rule the world
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
