Pants 0. Shit 1.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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