she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I need water and some morals
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
