I wish I could teleport
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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