Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
