It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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