Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
