best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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