yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
