I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
