Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
