giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
