Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
