I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
