these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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