i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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