i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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