In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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