i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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