Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
