she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
worst night to have a conscience
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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