I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
