Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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