i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
