She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
