And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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