your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
